Messed Up
by Shrimpbombastic
Summary: Karkat dealing with the deaths of his friends after the events of "Cascade".


The clown stepped out of the shadows towards him, stupid smile on his face. "Hey, Karb-"

"Go the fuck away, Gamzee. I need to go do something." He shoved the clown out of his way as he stomped down the hallway. As he passed, a sigh left Gamzee's mouth, and a sad "Honk" came from him and his toy. _Stay mad, Karkat. Stay angry. If you don't, people will know that you're weak. You aren't weak. You need to stay mad._ He told himself, knowing it was a lie. Everyone already knew he was weak. _No, they think you're weak. You need to make sure they don't confirm it, you asshat. Stay angry_.

He kept repeating the same phrase, _Stay angry_, the entire way to the Husk-Lobby. It was an idiotic nickname given to the room by himself. _Maybe I can quickly contact the other hum- Shit._ He walked into the lobby, and stopped in front of the horn pile.

In front of him, at his feet, yellow and purple continued to drift together. Karkat's face contorted and screamed in anger, stomping on the puddle of the blood. "Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! Fuck you both! WHY COULDN'T YOU TWO LIVE! FUCK!" He paused, panting. The blood, after his shoe-prints faded, combined to form a dark color, nearly that of red.

He stared at it, face showing disinterest of the color, but inside, he was yelling. Screaming. Tearing himself apart, limb-from-limb, cell-from-cell, so the two reds could join. But he didn't. He simply stared. Soft, hesitant footsteps came from behind him. "Karkat? Are you...are you okay?" Terezi whispered from over his shoulder, her breath hot against the back of his neck. He turned around, face red.

"YES. I'M JUST FUCKING GREAT! Get out of the way!" He shoved her back, causing her to stumble backwards and fall. He paused, looked at her softly, and stormed into the hallway. _They need to fucking leave me ALONE. Why do they even care!? _He turned towards the wall and punched it, bruising his knuckles, causing him to yell even louder. "WHY DO YOU CARE?!" He shouted at anyone and everyone. He heard those same soft footsteps stepping and stumbling through the hall. He silently cursed and turned, running towards the teleporter to the upper levels.

He stumbled out of the teleporter, looking around. Crates were stacked as high as the ceiling, a faint smell of sugar and leaves tainted the air around him. The varied sizes of the crates would have made for interesting games and weights. Karkat's shoulders slumped forward as he slowly walked into the room. His footsteps echoed through the place, as if it was the abandoned hives of their past lives, before all this happened. He began to walk slowly, as if not to disturb the ghosts of his, and everyone's, past. He walked and took the first right he could, the first right he knew. He knew this room specifically. Shattered glasses were all swept into one corner, as if one occupant was a slob, and the other neat. The smell of hot tea coated the air, like a suffocating cloud of emotions. Karkat shook his head, taking a few steps forward. A pile of clothes, with a dent in the center, where, just maybe, a small troll could fit. He continued walking, the same stoic, bored expression on his face. He saw a pile of towels, and a smirk tugged on the edges of his mouth.

Karkat walked and crouched beside a teapot, steam still pouring out of the spout. _It's... Still warm. _He reached down and opened the top, taking a sniff. _Camomile... _He stood up, pot in hand, staring into the top, swirling it thoughtfully. He raised it to his mouth, then without warning, turned around, throwing it at a stack of boxes on the far side of the room with an incomprehensible shout. It shattered, causing one box to topple the ground. His jaw opened a little in surprise. He saw a single stubby horn poking out from behind the stacks of boxes. He shoved the boxes aside, most cracking open as it hit the ground. Slowly, the image began to show itself. Small hearts decorated the pair as the boxes continued to hit the ground. A small note fluttered to the floor as the picture was finally uncovered fully. The mural on the wall was Nepeta and Karkat holding hands, a small red heart between the two. Karkat's mural-self was smiling.

Karkat yelled angrily as he began throwing the splinters of wood from the boxes at the mural. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? WHY COULDN'T YOU BE HONEST? I COULD HAVE MADE IT SAIL, DAMNIT!" He continued throwing anything his hands could grab, shouting curse after curse at the picture as the chalk smeared and clouded into the air. He grabbed something cold and slightly damp, but threw it. It shattered against the wall, green paint splattering across the mural. He looked down to his hands, and green paint covered his hands and splattered against his shirt. His arms began to shake, and his legs gave out one at a time, left, then right, and he sat on his knees, looking back up to the desecrated picture on the wall. Tears began to cloud his eyes as he mumbled over and over. He fell forward, catching himself on his hands, and slowly touched his forehead against the cold ground, paint slowly crawling down the wall to his head, staining his hair. He choked out a sob, and punched the ground in anger, causing his sobs to become louder. He began to hit his head lightly against the ground, mumbling the same words over and over, louder and louder. "I'm so sorry, Nepeta. I failed you..." He kept repeating the phrase until he passed out from exhaustion.

In the blackness of his dreams, he heard one phrase echo out.

"I furrgive you, Karkitty."


End file.
